I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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