i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
