Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
