Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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