you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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