Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
