The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
40s are totally the cure
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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