We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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