Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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