i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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