Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
