Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
