You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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