think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i think im in europe. pls send help
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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