The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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