this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
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it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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