so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
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No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize