Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.