just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
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you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
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she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.