can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s