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so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
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