I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
