when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
