Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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