The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
