Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
