Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
