i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
