I need help removing her.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
