At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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