just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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