There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
