I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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