I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've blown a few things in my day
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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