Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
