I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize