oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
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I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
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You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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