Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Never joke about your clitoris.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
