I wish I could teleport
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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