My friends, they love my intelligence
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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