I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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