I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I think i got beer on your cat.
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