we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
