I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
