marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you're hired as official boob wrangler
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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