It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My vagina is officially offended.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
