she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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