Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
