who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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