Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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