U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
