i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
