I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
