God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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