I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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