winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
