..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
