i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
