I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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