It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
