Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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