Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
